how does this raincoat fetish thing work?

[NoraSverige]

Hi

I am 18 and I live in sweden.

I have a friend who has given my raincoat a lot of attention lately. I did not think too much about it at first. But he just looks at me a certain way when I wear it. He hugs me more often when I wear it. Also he has asked if he can loan it a few times.

That was when I started to think about if it was a fetish. My raincoat is very girlie . Its a really long stutterheim thats shiny and is black with white borders on sleeves and bottom of it. I cant imagine a guy use my raincoat outside .

So I am just trying to understand what this is . How does this raincoat fetish work?

To me , my raincoat is a fashion thing. Its cute . Also protective.

I cant understand why he seems a bit obsessed over my raincoat.

/Nora

[blackmacjay]

My guess is he does have a raincoat fetish but he may not admit it even if you ask him. Perhaps he does not know.

I have that fetish and it's OK to share it with someone. In my case it was my wife and she loves the idea even though she does not join me but loves her rubber-lined mackintoshes because it keeps her warm.

So I say, ask him but you may not get the answer you might prefer.

[MissRachel]

Hi

I am 18 and I live in sweden.

I have a friend who has given my raincoat a lot of attention lately. I did not think too much about it at first. But he just looks at me a certain way when I wear it. He hugs me more often when I wear it. Also he has asked if he can loan it a few times.

That was when I started to think about if it was a fetish. My raincoat is very girlie . Its a really long stutterheim thats shiny and is black with white borders on sleeves and bottom of it. I cant imagine a guy use my raincoat outside .

So I am just trying to understand what this is . How does this raincoat fetish work?

To me , my raincoat is a fashion thing. Its cute . Also protective.

I cant understand why he seems a bit obsessed over my raincoat.

/Nora

Hello Nora,

there are several angles to this situation.

1) I guess first be kind. Most "boys" do not understand what they have got into when they realize they love rain wear. I know I did not understand. It took years for me to find others like me and then to find out it you maybe laughed at for enjoying such clothing.

2) Which leads me into the second point; there are many levels of this attachment. Speaking again for myself I am like you it is a fashion statement. I love to wear a PVC rain jacket on a cold night to the night clubs. It looks sharp and feels good. However it "feels good," which does mean there is a tactcal element to wearing a PVC coat. That of course is a thread in itself.

3) Finally a lot will depend on you. Does this matter? Do you enjoy being with him. Does it matter he likes wear something you have worn? Again that is a huge thread beyond this little post.

In my life I always have hated the word "fetish." In the US it implies that there is an attraction beyond normal reason and has a negative element to it. My personal experience is that enjoying wearing rain wear does not mean you are somehow not normal.

It only means you have a eye for fashion...

[NoraSverige]

Hi

I am 18 and I live in sweden.

I have a friend who has given my raincoat a lot of attention lately. I did not think too much about it at first. But he just looks at me a certain way when I wear it. He hugs me more often when I wear it. Also he has asked if he can loan it a few times.

That was when I started to think about if it was a fetish. My raincoat is very girlie . Its a really long stutterheim thats shiny and is black with white borders on sleeves and bottom of it. I cant imagine a guy use my raincoat outside .

So I am just trying to understand what this is . How does this raincoat fetish work?

To me , my raincoat is a fashion thing. Its cute . Also protective.

I cant understand why he seems a bit obsessed over my raincoat.

/Nora

Hello Nora,

there are several angles to this situation.

1) I guess first be kind. Most "boys" do not understand what they have got into when they realize they love rain wear. I know I did not understand. It took years for me to find others like me and then to find out it you maybe laughed at for enjoying such clothing.

2) Which leads me into the second point; there are many levels of this attachment. Speaking again for myself I am like you it is a fashion statement. I love to wear a PVC rain jacket on a cold night to the night clubs. It looks sharp and feels good. However it "feels good," which does mean there is a tactcal element to wearing a PVC coat. That of course is a thread in itself.

3) Finally a lot will depend on you. Does this matter? Do you enjoy being with him. Does it matter he likes wear something you have worn? Again that is a huge thread beyond this little post.

In my life I always have hated the word "fetish." In the US it implies that there is an attraction beyond normal reason and has a negative element to it. My personal experience is that enjoying wearing rain wear does not mean you are somehow not normal.

It only means you have a eye for fashion...

Thanks a lot for this answer. It made me think and see its from another perspective.

1. I dont laugh at it . I just want to try understand it.

2 My raincoat make me feel both cute and protected and I have to say its also about a tactile thing for sure. How it feels.

3 I enjoy being with him. I dont mind him loaning my raincoat . I already let him loan it a few times. Just was ciurious of why since my raincoat is so girlie.

4 The word fetish for me is about having an attraction to something . An object. Not neccesserly a negative thing.

[BobbyValore]

Hi Nora,

You sound like a good friend who is genuinly interested in the well being of your friend. Good that you ask for information instead of judging him.

Basically most people have a specific interest in certain things like looks (hair color or hair length, body figure, length, etc), certain clothing (rainwear, sexy lingerie, high heels, men in business suits, etc), or certain materials (latex, rubber, velvet, etc). More often than not this is no issue at all as it is just a preference that adds something to someone's life. Without is fine, with is just a bit more interesting and fun. It only becomes a real fetish when gratification is linked to this in an abnormal degree. For example if he is only interested in you while you wear your raincoat, or when he is unable to perform without a raincoat being involved.

Assuming he is about the same age as you i expect he is just exploring himself a bit with what he likes and what works for him. This does not even have to be purely sexual. Maybe he just links your raincoat with some happy memories based on smell, sound, protected feeling when wearing it, or overall looks.

I would recommend you give him some time to figure all this out for himself. It must be confusing for him as liking rainwear is not a very common preference, unlike liking lingerie or high heels. Be supportive up to a level you are comfortable with (dont do anything you dont want to do), even though this might mean you dont bring it up and just let him be. Over time you can ask him some indirect questions about this, but dont expect him to come forth that easily as he might feel ashamed and vulnerable. If you are completely comfortable with his preferences you can wear your raincoat a bit more often and just enjoy the extra attention he gives you.

[NoraSverige]

Hi Nora,

You sound like a good friend who is genuinly interested in the well being of your friend. Good that you ask for information instead of judging him.

Basically most people have a specific interest in certain things like looks (hair color or hair length, body figure, length, etc), certain clothing (rainwear, sexy lingerie, high heels, men in business suits, etc), or certain materials (latex, rubber, velvet, etc). More often than not this is no issue at all as it is just a preference that adds something to someone's life. Without is fine, with is just a bit more interesting and fun. It only becomes a real fetish when gratification is linked to this in an abnormal degree. For example if he is only interested in you while you wear your raincoat, or when he is unable to perform without a raincoat being involved.

Assuming he is about the same age as you i expect he is just exploring himself a bit with what he likes and what works for him. This does not even have to be purely sexual. Maybe he just links your raincoat with some happy memories based on smell, sound, protected feeling when wearing it, or overall looks.

I would recommend you give him some time to figure all this out for himself. It must be confusing for him as liking rainwear is not a very common preference, unlike liking lingerie or high heels. Be supportive up to a level you are comfortable with (dont do anything you dont want to do), even though this might mean you dont bring it up and just let him be. Over time you can ask him some indirect questions about this, but dont expect him to come forth that easily as he might feel ashamed and vulnerable. If you are completely comfortable with his preferences you can wear your raincoat a bit more often and just enjoy the extra attention he gives you.

Thanks for your reply.

It all sounds very reasonable to me. I agree with you.

I use my raincoat as a normal coat aswell anyways since its a stutterheim its good against wind and such too. And I dont mind the extra attention . And as long as he does not want to loan it too often thats fine too.

I think i am mostly suprised of how much attention he has given my raincoat and at first I could not figure it out . I dont like judgeing people so it feelt natural to google and i found a forum to ask about it. Glad i did.

[WealdenMac]

Very much admire your response and wish you both well.

[MacRobin]

Dear NoraSverige

I agree with all that has been said above and also, having spent a lifetime addressing the question you have raised in your header, I can also give you my considered view.

It is long overdue that the word fetish should be consigned to the dustbin because it has gone through so many meanings. It started off as worshipping a material artifact in the absence of a material presence of the god you believed in. So adoring a Christian cross or fingering a set of rosary beads was a manifestation of a religious fetish. Then in the 19th C, it got attached to sex, especially worshipping clothing or other items worn by the adored person. It got a bad name when the adored person was inaccessible for whatever reason and the person who craved for her (usually it was a male who "confessed" to such deeds) stole the item to satisfy the craving.

I am in the process of writing a book in the evolution of the "fetish" displayed by people like me and most others in this forum. I have read all there is to be read by so-called expert psychologists going back over a hundred years and they are all wrong to some extent or other, including Krafft-Ebing, Freud and Havelock Ellis. None of these writers possessed what I call a predilection rather than a fetish and so they could not possibly understand it. They called themselves normal and so anyone who liked the drape, look and feel of, for example, a raincoat or a fur coat or a silk dress and made a sexual association, was defined to be abnormal and perverted because no normal person would excessively like a garment made from the juice of a rubber tree. Yet this definition was made purely on the basis that the person making it was "normal" despite the fact that they probably had a predilection for taking shredded vegetation from another plant, rolling it into a cylinder, sticking it in their mouth and setting setting fire to it.

Finally, no more than a couple or more years ago, the WHO finally removed "fetishism" from the classified list of mental illnesses, provided it was between consenting couples and did not lead to the person being deranged.

So what about the chap who has asked to borrow your raincoat? I can't say what is in his mind, but I do recall in my teens being afflicted by a passion for a girl in my village, D, and I desperately wanted to borrow her raincoat because it made her look sexy and desirable and although I couldn't take her home and sleep with her in those days, the thought of sleeping with her raincoat seemed to fill in the gaps till I was with her again. But I daren't ask her and she never knew. She went off with someone else and I pined. I met another girl, V, with an identical raincoat and felt salvation until I realised that it was her raincoat I wanted, to remind me of D, and not her. It was unfair to treat V this way so I backed off. So very early, I was able to separate the item from the person and want both, with the person always being more important.

Three years ago I met a woman and we both agree that had we met years ago we would have made a fantastic life together but it would hurt too many innocents if we tried to retrieve a lost life now. It took her a day to winkle out my predilection. She had known me for a while beforehand and knew there was something (attractively) different about me and was determined to find out what it was. When I told her it was raincoats and other clothes or rubber and latex, she embraced the notion with enthusiasm and said it made me more exciting and she wanted to experience it. She had always liked the touch of silk and now found out why -- it was a foretaste. To cut a long story short, she has a white linen shirt of mine which she wore the first time we fucked properly and she sleeps in it, because she has part of me around her and she feels simultaneously excited and content. She likes looking at the faint stain where our combined juices dribbled. She bought a latex skirt and wore it a few times before giving it to me. I cant sleep in it because it doesn't fit. But I sleep with it. We hand these garments back now and then to be refreshed and then have a serious fuck with them in the bed we share rarely.

So by all means lend your raincoat to your chap but make sure you ask him what he is going to do with it and then when you need it back because it is raining, ask him what he has been doing with it and also examine it for wear and tear. You might want to suggest that he can keep it if he buys you a brand new one of at least the same quality. Everything will be OK provided he appears to maintain his interest in you or even increases it. The whole business can become a superb addition, which is how I dealt with it when I realised that I was different and not "normal" I regarded it as an addition, something extra that I had over "normal" people, to whom I could now feel superior. Give it a try. And if he suggests he fancies fucking you whilst you wear the raincoat, give that a try. With the right approach it can enhance a relationship. There may be something that you like and can get him to do in return although don't make it look a trade. In a relationship, you do things absolutely and unconditionally. If he seems to fade away once her "owns" your raincoat then you have learnt something very important and can move on.

But the bottom line is,
and the answer to your question is:
Everybody is different and the right approach is to accept and enjoy the differences rather than make the other person be like you, because that way, life is boring.

PS I notice it is you, rather than him who came to this forum. Well done!

[NoraSverige]

Dear NoraSverige

I agree with all that has been said above and also, having spent a lifetime addressing the question you have raised in your header, I can also give you my considered view.

It is long overdue that the word fetish should be consigned to the dustbin because it has gone through so many meanings. It started off as worshipping a material artifact in the absence of a material presence of the god you believed in. So adoring a Christian cross or fingering a set of rosary beads was a manifestation of a religious fetish. Then in the 19th C, it got attached to sex, especially worshipping clothing or other items worn by the adored person. It got a bad name when the adored person was inaccessible for whatever reason and the person who craved for her (usually it was a male who "confessed" to such deeds) stole the item to satisfy the craving.

I am in the process of writing a book in the evolution of the "fetish" displayed by people like me and most others in this forum. I have read all there is to be read by so-called expert psychologists going back over a hundred years and they are all wrong to some extent or other, including Krafft-Ebing, Freud and Havelock Ellis. None of these writers possessed what I call a predilection rather than a fetish and so they could not possibly understand it. They called themselves normal and so anyone who liked the drape, look and feel of, for example, a raincoat or a fur coat or a silk dress and made a sexual association, was defined to be abnormal and perverted because no normal person would excessively like a garment made from the juice of a rubber tree. Yet this definition was made purely on the basis that the person making it was "normal" despite the fact that they probably had a predilection for taking shredded vegetation from another plant, rolling it into a cylinder, sticking it in their mouth and setting setting fire to it.

Finally, no more than a couple or more years ago, the WHO finally removed "fetishism" from the classified list of mental illnesses, provided it was between consenting couples and did not lead to the person being deranged.

So what about the chap who has asked to borrow your raincoat? I can't say what is in his mind, but I do recall in my teens being afflicted by a passion for a girl in my village, D, and I desperately wanted to borrow her raincoat because it made her look sexy and desirable and although I couldn't take her home and sleep with her in those days, the thought of sleeping with her raincoat seemed to fill in the gaps till I was with her again. But I daren't ask her and she never knew. She went off with someone else and I pined. I met another girl, V, with an identical raincoat and felt salvation until I realised that it was her raincoat I wanted, to remind me of D, and not her. It was unfair to treat V this way so I backed off. So very early, I was able to separate the item from the person and want both, with the person always being more important.

Three years ago I met a woman and we both agree that had we met years ago we would have made a fantastic life together but it would hurt too many innocents if we tried to retrieve a lost life now. It took her a day to winkle out my predilection. She had known me for a while beforehand and knew there was something (attractively) different about me and was determined to find out what it was. When I told her it was raincoats and other clothes or rubber and latex, she embraced the notion with enthusiasm and said it made me more exciting and she wanted to experience it. She had always liked the touch of silk and now found out why -- it was a foretaste. To cut a long story short, she has a white linen shirt of mine which she wore the first time we fucked properly and she sleeps in it, because she has part of me around her and she feels simultaneously excited and content. She likes looking at the faint stain where our combined juices dribbled. She bought a latex skirt and wore it a few times before giving it to me. I cant sleep in it because it doesn't fit. But I sleep with it. We hand these garments back now and then to be refreshed and then have a serious fuck with them in the bed we share rarely.

So by all means lend your raincoat to your chap but make sure you ask him what he is going to do with it and then when you need it back because it is raining, ask him what he has been doing with it and also examine it for wear and tear. You might want to suggest that he can keep it if he buys you a brand new one of at least the same quality. Everything will be OK provided he appears to maintain his interest in you or even increases it. The whole business can become a superb addition, which is how I dealt with it when I realised that I was different and not "normal" I regarded it as an addition, something extra that I had over "normal" people, to whom I could now feel superior. Give it a try. And if he suggests he fancies fucking you whilst you wear the raincoat, give that a try. With the right approach it can enhance a relationship. There may be something that you like and can get him to do in return although don't make it look a trade. In a relationship, you do things absolutely and unconditionally. If he seems to fade away once her "owns" your raincoat then you have learnt something very important and can move on.

But the bottom line is,
and the answer to your question is:
Everybody is different and the right approach is to accept and enjoy the differences rather than make the other person be like you, because that way, life is boring.

PS I notice it is you, rather than him who came to this forum. Well done!

Thank you for your in depth answer.

When I get my raincoat back, I will ask him about what he does with my raincoat , and I will inspect it for wear and tear.

Will be interesting if he loses interest or not,if he gets to keep my raincoat and buys me another one.

If he and I get to a point where we end up in bed and he asks if I wear a raincoat. I would not mind give it a try as long as I feel he gives me attention aswell as the raincoat. not just the raincoat .

I can give an update on how it progresses .

[MissRachel]

Hello MacRobin,

sorry I did not use the "quote" function. Pasting your trhread would just have been over kill.

1) what an amazing story you have! I like how you said you "trade" your articles of clothing and it never because a focus on the clothing. My wife and I did the same thing when I took long trips away from her when I was in the military.
2) a word to NoraSverige. Good for you that you found us and have read our contributions to love and life! I hate to say it but boys are a little slow and the girls tend to do more research regarding how love works.
3) lastly I would also be interested in how your relationship continues forward. If he truly loves you the coat is only a coat. You cannot have a relationship with a coat but only with someone you love. Keep us informed on your progress.