What is ok/ not

[Gerlid]

Hi! Just like to have an opinion.

Walked my dog this morning and it was a bit cold, so i had a thin, shiny nylon down jacket on like most chilly days. At the end of our walk, I came down to the boat jetty by the creek next to our house. The jetty follows the small hill which is the shore line and along this hill, we have built a long wooden bench. The bench is really nice and just sit down and lean back to the hill is lovely, watching the creek and the swans and other birds.

This morning there were a person sitting on the bench, one of the daughters living in the house 2:nd from us. I have known her since she was a kid and she is now 40+, she is single since some years. She couldn’t take her husbands problems anymore, alcohol and drugs, so she chose to live alone with their kids.

I sat down beside her and we talked like always and we leaned back and enyoyed the warming sun. Then she said that she liked my jacket, looked so soft and shiny,and started to rub/caress the front of my jacket. When she felt my hard nippels, she tickled them for a while and asked how I felt. And I had to tell her to stop even if I was excited. We have only been giving each other friendly hugs before and it should stay that way, I am happily married. She just stopped and we sat talking for a long while. Just as the good friends we are.

When I came home I started to think about this happening. If it was ok or not from her side, to start to make me excited like that. And how would it be the other way around? If I had started to just ” feel her jacket” by rubbing, play with and tickle her tits?

Is it so that it’s more ok for a woman to touch and play with a mans body than the other way around? Your opinion?

[Tiefdruckgebiet]

People calling for "same rights" (women or anybody else) should also accept the same rules, duties, do's and dont's! People who only want the positive side and ignore the negative side are what we call "raisin pickers" here. A woman shouldn't touch a man in a way she wouldn't like to be touched by a man! If you touch a woman that way it's called sexual harrassment, why should it be different the opposite way?

When she knows you for a longer time she also should know of your marriage? If yes that wasn't very polite imho, esp when you don't show any signs you would cheat your wife.

[Lordgrey]

You're a grown man I take. Then if you said no and she accepts it, I would just let it be. If she doesn't accept the No and tries something similiar, then its definitely a border crossed and you should make it very clearly that you regard it as harrassment.

You are right, if a man would do that to a woman, it would be regarded as sexual harrasment. But my opinion on that is, you can't blame someone just for touching another person who is awake and full aware. This person can say no. It's different when the person is drunk or otherwise incapacitated, but that has to be judged by the case.
In psychology there's something called individual distance. If they are broken, we feel uncomfortable. And it is important that we can communicate this in a social manner. The other one may not even notice that we feel uncomfortable. And then there are the jerks that do that on purpose...
Hope this helps.

[Gerlid]

People calling for "same rights" (women or anybody else) should also accept the same rules, duties, do's and dont's! People who only want the positive side and ignore the negative side are what we call "raisin pickers" here. A woman shouldn't touch a man in a way she wouldn't like to be touched by a man! If you touch a woman that way it's called sexual harrassment, why should it be different the opposite way?

When she knows you for a longer time she also should know of your marriage? If yes that wasn't very polite imho, esp when you don't show any signs you would cheat your wife.

I have no problems with this woman or what she did. I think it was more for fun and no intention, and she knows my wife very well.

My thoughts were more general, many times I have seen women teasing and get close to men ex g at company parties. Women who have been flirting with managers etc. If it had been the other way around, men sitting on the knee of women, it had been an other discussion and reaction.

[Gerlid]

You're a grown man I take. Then if you said no and she accepts it, I would just let it be. If she doesn't accept the No and tries something similiar, then its definitely a border crossed and you should make it very clearly that you regard it as harrassment.

You are right, if a man would do that to a woman, it would be regarded as sexual harrasment. But my opinion on that is, you can't blame someone just for touching another person who is awake and full aware. This person can say no. It's different when the person is drunk or otherwise incapacitated, but that has to be judged by the case.
In psychology there's something called individual distance. If they are broken, we feel uncomfortable. And it is important that we can communicate this in a social manner. The other one may not even notice that we feel uncomfortable. And then there are the jerks that do that on purpose...
Hope this helps.

I am older then she and I just let it be. Have no problems with what she did and she did it just for fun. And stopped when I said she tickled me. She liked my jacket and liked to feel how soft it is, She didn’t have any intentions.

My thoughts were more general, what is acceptable or not. I worked as a manager in different positions for many years and have been to several company parties. Many times women have flirted and also come close to men at those parties, sitting on the knee etc. Havn’t been so many reactions but if it had been the other way around, I think it have been reactions.

[1000Raincoats]

I think I would have enjoyed it if it was me sitting there in my nylon raincoat and a woman caressed the raincoat and asked what she thought of it.